


In Which it's Time for Secrets

by OrnateOtter



Series: Of Soulmates and Timing [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: (yes he does), Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Gen, Pepper Potts is Da Boss, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Pepper Potts/Tony Stark - Freeform, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 04:20:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9802373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrnateOtter/pseuds/OrnateOtter
Summary: The past doesn't like to be ignored. Sooner or later, it catches up.Tony Stark lives the good life. He has everything he could ever want: the dream job, the endless amounts of money, the gorgeous women falling over themselves to spend the night with him, and (arguably) the fame as well.But that's the thing: Afghanistan happened. The Ten Rings happened. Yinsen and Stane happened.It all changed him, brought back memories he thought he'd left behind a long time ago. And they just. Won't. Leave.(Or: Tony Stark finally starts to deal with the fact that he has a soulmate out there somewhere, and starts questioning his decision to leave and never look back.)





	

It came as little surprise that having been the hostage of a terrorist organization came with a number of consequences for Tony Stark.

 

There was the discovery of Obadiah’s betrayal, of course, and the subsequent Great Stark Industries Cleaning Project that Tony had undertaken (with JARVIS’ help, in less than two weeks all employees with substantiated ties to Stane’s less recommendable activities had seen their contracts terminated or been transferred to some out-of-the-way facility where they wouldn’t be able to bother anyone). His general faith in people had taken a serious hit too, and he suspected it would have disappeared entirely if not for Pepper and Rhodey’s unwavering support and loyalty. As for Stark Industries, as happy as Tony was about the one-eighty in production directives, the board constantly on his back asking for new prototypes was becoming a serious pain.

 

But even more harassing than a whole bunch of old rich white guys, were the memories that didn’t want to leave him alone. No matter how much work he went through in a day, no matter how exhausted he felt after dealing with Stark Industries stupid engineers, Pepper’s paperwork and building Mark III, as soon as he tried to get some sleep all he could picture were wide blue eyes looking right at him.

 

After years and years of effectively ignoring Memory Lane’s very existence, his sudden and incomprehensible nostalgia made him want to pull his hair out. Or smash things with his repulsors, since he'd recently invented those.

 

“Mr. Stark?”

 

Even his brand new project didn’t make for enough of a distraction. In any other circumstances, the prospect of showing up Steve Jobs would have been enough to set his mood on an all-time high, but in this instance, the possibility of putting a design-obsessed-fraud back in his place was overshadowed by his thoughts constantly circling back to the fact that _she_ had refused his offer to build or buy her a phone.

 

(And if a little voice at the back of his head was nagging him about how he was building it anyway, over five years later, then he ignored it and turned up the sound of the music playing in his workshop until he couldn’t hear his own thoughts.)

 

“Mr. Stark.”

 

The indignation he felt over that whole iPhone business helped, but only marginally. After all, if people were stupid enough to rush to buy that overpriced piece of crap, then it was hardly his problem. Obviously, his Stark Phone would put things back in perspective—but all S.I. technologies were so superior it wouldn’t come as a surprise to anybody.

 

“ _Mr. Stark!_ ”

 

The voice finally registered and abruptly broke through his train of thought (but Tony didn’t start, because Tony Stark was never startled).

 

“Miss Potts!” he exclaimed grandly. Feeling magnanimous, he didn’t comment when his personal assistant took a small precautionary step back at the sight of the soldering iron he kept in hand even as he gestured in welcome. “So nice of you to drop by! Is that paperwork I see in your hands? Put it away. Today officially becomes No Paperwork Day! JARVIS, take note!”

 

“Of course, sir. Shall I notify the relevant authorities and start the process to request it be turned into an official holiday?”

 

“No need, JARVIS,” Pepper immediately tempered, her smile turning a little tremulous at the idea that she might have to deal with the Governor’s office again. “Let’s just keep it as a Tony-Stark’s-House-only event, shall we? Mr. Stark, although I do have a couple papers I’d like you to sign, they're not the main reason I wanted to talk to you today.”

 

Deliberately not looking at the folders she set on a nearby workbench, Tony gave the woman a rakish grin. “Is that so? By all means, Miss Potts, what can I help you with?”

 

She schooled her expression, but not fast enough that the dark-haired man missed the twitch upwards of the corners of her lips. “JARVIS informed me you still haven’t left your workshop since I was here yesterday.” Her tone was gentle and the compassion in it was unmistakable—something that would have made him uncomfortable had it been anyone else. But Tony didn’t even feel the urge to pretend he was doing something else, didn’t feel the awkwardness that generally came with people being unusually nice to him. “I was hoping to convince you to get some rest, Mr. Stark.”

 

 _Oh, wait, there was the urge after all_. “No can do, Miss Potts!” Knowing no smile he could muster would convince her to leave him be and drop the issue, he turned back to his little project and pretended to be fully absorbed in working on the intricate circuitry he’d been putting together. “Way too many things to do, way too many thoughts. . .But I’m sure you understand.”

 

Actually, he was a hundred percent certain she didn’t, but it was hardly her fault. No one could understand for the very simple reason he’d never breathed a word of it to anybody.

 

Over five years already since that fateful night in Vegas when he’d ended up with his ass sitting on a dirty sidewalk and the mother of all hangovers. Five years that he’d managed to live normally and not think at all about Vegas. Well, except for a few instances, that is. And they were all in passing. Like that one time he’d hit on a woman at a party only to suddenly realize her eyes were the exact same shade of brilliant blue—obviously he’d promptly hightailed it out of there, and without a woman to spend the night with.

 

And they’d been five good years—five _great_ years. He’d never regretted his choice, never looked back (not since he’d allowed himself that one last look through the rear window and caught his last glimpse of that tiny figure clad in a pair of ratty jeans and an oversized army jacket).

 

But then, the conversation with Yinsen had happened. . .

 

_‘Don’t you ever wonder what could have been? She was young, but you said that you enjoyed talking to her.’_

_‘Honestly, man, do you realize how creepy that is? She was- well, not ten, but close enough. And even without the problem of the age-gap, like I told her, I’m not a one-woman kind of man and I’ll never be. And I’m not one to try and fit into other people’s expectations of me either.’_

_‘Well, I personally think being with your soulmate is a lot more simple than that. There’s no fitting into anything. Soulmates bring each other balance, understanding and acceptance, and, as I’m sure you’re aware, these are hard to come by.’_

_‘Yinsen, my man, I know your wife is the perfect woman, but you gotta realize someday she’s one-of-a-kind. Soulmates don’t always mean. . .acceptance and rainbows and unicorns.’_

_‘Because to earn acceptance, you need to expose yourself entirely. Be so open to the point of vulnerability. That is a very hard thing to do—a scary thing. Some people never find the courage to show their other half who they truly are.’_

_‘Sometimes I think you live in some kind of fairy tale.’_

 

“Mr. Stark,” Pepper spoke up again after a minute. And Tony knew that tone: it was the one she used when she refused to drop something, and, somehow, managed to remain perfectly calm no matter how many times he refused or rebuffed her. And Tony always ended up giving in. “I know I’m overstepping here, but I’d like you to think about talking to a professional.”

 

The idea was so unexpected (because it was so ludicrous) that Tony let out a startled but genuine laugh. “Talk to a professional?” he repeated and shot her a brief look. “You know if there’s one thing I don’t do, Miss Potts, it’s talking. Much less to any kind of professionals.”

 

“I know you don’t,” the redheaded woman sighed, looking resigned. “But I think it’s important that you _try_. I’ve put together a list of specialized-”

 

“Let me stop you right there. I appreciate that you’re worried—even though, as you said, it’s not a part of your job description so you actually never even needed to bother—but there’s no need for specialized anything, no need for a list, and no need for _talking_.” And he finished his declaration with a definitely exaggerated shudder.

 

“Tony.”

 

That simple word was enough: Pepper rarely ever dropped her professionalism, and only when she deemed the situation really called for it (so far, it had only happened during that whole fiasco with Stane).

 

Resigned to his fate, Tony braced himself for the oncoming lecture, all the while affecting to be completely indifferent to the whole thing. Because— _suck it, Jobs!_ —he had a phone industry to revolutionize, dammit. And, even as Pepper took a few steps closer to him until she was standing by his side, within arm’s reach, his eyes remained fixed on his task.

 

“Tony, ever since Obadiah’s funerals, you’ve spent all your time in your lab.”

 

“I don’t see how that’s a problem,” Tony retorted with a vague shrug of his shoulders. “I’ve never been more productive. You should be thrilled! With all these new prototypes I got you for the board, Stark Industries production units should be working non-stop for the rest of the year. And this little baby will open us a whole new market. Seriously. We should have gotten into smart phones ages ago: have you looked at the products from our concurrents? I’ve been complaining about my phones for years and it’s time to rectify that.”

 

Pepper shot him her trademark I-know-what-you’re-doing-and-I’m-not-going-to-fall-for-it look. Not that Tony was surprised. She always saw right through his attempts to distract her with mindless prattle. “I assure you, the board has never been happier. As for myself, I’m a little more concerned with the fact that in the past five days you’ve had no more than nineteen hours of sleep.”

 

“JARVIS!” Tony snapped, dropping his work and throwing his hands in the air in exasperation. “What did I say about you ratting me out to Pepper?”

 

“My apologies, sir,” the AI’s voice retorted. He didn’t even sound the least bit sorry. “But Miss Potts enforced her override protocols to access the information.”

 

“With good reason,” the woman in question added with a sharp look for Tony. The billionaire and genius and playboy categorically refused to feel like a five-year-old reprimanded by his mother for not finishing his broccoli. “JARVIS told me you haven’t had a full meal in over two days.”

 

Tony promptly squawked indignantly. “What is this? Are you turning my AI against me? Miss Potts, that is below you-”

 

“My job, Mr. Stark, is to make sure you have everything you need, particularly when you’re not taking care of yourself properly. You didn’t even touch the takeout I brought over yesterday.”

 

“I just forgot about it, big deal!” Tony rolled his eyes dismissively. “And I’ve eaten plenty.”

 

“Granola bars and dried fruits and nuts don’t count,” Pepper retorted, tone softening. “For my peace of mind, Tony. You’ve always been passionate about your work, and that’s the reason why I’ve worked for you all these years, even though everybody was telling me I was crazy to keep at it. But you’ve never neglected yourself like this before. Is it wrong of me to be worried?”

 

The heartfelt admission was the only reason Tony relented.

 

Had it been anyone else, he would have come up with some kind of snarky (and most likely offensive) repartee and ignored any further attempt to engage in conversation. But this was Pepper—beautiful, brilliant, _brave_ Pepper—and almost despite himself, the words flew out of his mouth.

 

“Miss Potts,” he said seriously and turned on his stool to face her fully. The circuitry he’d been tinkering with was abandoned on the tabletop, but if it could convince her to stop worrying, Pepper was more than worth his full attention and time. “I promise you, I’m perfectly fine. I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately, but I’m sure I’ll be back to normal soon. I just need to get this done.”

 

The redhead nodded but still didn’t move a muscle in the rest of her body. It was a clear sign that she wasn’t done, one that Tony had ignored in the past more times than he could count, and yet he found himself sitting there and patiently waiting for her to say her piece. That was definitely a surprise: although Tony had plenty of patience for a lot of things, people weren’t part of that very selective list.

 

But then again, Pepper was turning out to be the exception to a lot of things in his life.

 

“Wouldn’t it help if you had less things on your mind?” she asked at length.

 

“Sure,” Tony shrugged. “But I don’t want to lie down on a cheap couch and let a stranger take notes about my teenage dirty fantasies. I’m handling it. And in case I need it, I’m sure I can call Dr. Phil or something.”

 

“And do you think it’s working so far? On your own?” There was the slightest bit of impatience entering her tone, a warning sign that the engineer willfully ignored.

 

“My dear Miss Potts,” he said cajolingly. “ _You_ , out of every other human being on this planet, should know that I’m nothing if not stubborn. I’ll figure it out. I’m a genius after all.”

 

“Professional soldiers with years of combat experience need help from certified psychiatrists to get over their trauma. Is it so unthinkable that the great Tony Stark might need some help too?”

 

“It’s ‘The Great Iron Man’ now, actually,” he couldn’t help but chirp back before Pepper’s no-nonsense glare forced him to try again more seriously. “Alright, alright. Miss Potts, I swear to you, what’s on my mind right now has absolutely nothing to do with the whole Afghanistan clusterfuck—this one I’ve dealt with already.” And by ‘dealt with’ he meant that he’d locked it in a box and shoved it at the very back of his mind, and hadn’t thought about it since he’d come back to the US. But he didn’t say that part out loud, because he was pretty sure Pepper wouldn’t approve.

 

“Alright then,” the redhead retorted. She looked completely unconvinced, but that was no great surprise. “You might not want to talk to me and that’s fine. But, Mr. Stark, after knowing you for all these years, not to mention what happened last month, I thought we were past you trying to lie to my face.”

 

And that last one didn’t sit right with him _at all_.

 

Ever since Obadiah’s Great Betrayal, Tony had been left with no choice other than to face the reality that only a precious few people in his life were trustworthy. The realization had been beyond hurtful (who would have thought a man his age could still be disillusioned so badly?) and had led Tony to re-evaluate a number of his fonder childhood memories and constants in his life. But what Tony had decided to keep from that thoroughly traumatizing experience was that he now had people he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he could trust with his life.

 

Happy was one of them, obviously, because ever since Tony had plucked the man from a dwindling career in the professional boxing industry, the older man had proved his worth a hundred times over.

 

And there was Rhodey, which had kind of been a surprise (albeit a welcome one) because no matter how long they’d known each other, their friendship wasn’t one Tony would have used the word ‘close’ to describe. They worked very well together, of course, and that was the reason why the government had appointed Rhodey as their liaison for S.I., but they never talked about anything remotely personal unless there were copious amounts of alcohol involved. And still, when Tony needed him to, Rhodey had saved his bacon without a second of hesitation—hadn’t even told his superiors about Tony’s suit, even though Tony knew how sacred the Air Force was to Rhodes.

 

As for Pepper, she’d gone above and beyond. Years of working for him (and Tony was the first to admit how challenging he could be at times) should have sent the woman running for the hills. But she hadn’t ever so much as flinched, no matter what he threw at her: dry cleaning everyday, mountains of paperwork, dealing with the board, organizing fundraisers from scratch, and last but not least, showing his one-night-stands out the door in the mornings. More recently, he’d even asked her to stick her hand inside his chest and she'd done it!

 

He hadn’t told her she was the only person he could trust with his arc-reactor—with his life—just for kicks. He’d meant it too. And he didn’t want the only woman he trusted and respected in his life thinking he was lying to her.

 

“Will you keep a secret for me, Miss Potts?” he asked, and tried to ignore the way his heart was suddenly beating harder in his chest.

 

The woman frowned for an instant, looking frustrated with his seemingly nonsensical change of subject, before letting herself drop on a stool with a sigh. She closed her eyes for a second, visibly swallowing back her impatience, and then looked at Tony calmly. “You can tell me anything, Mr. Stark,” she assured him, the promise clear in her voice.

 

“JARVIS, privacy protocols, full lockdown.” Tony cleared his throat, and before he had the time to rethink his decision, he launched in his explanation. “Almost six years ago, not long before you started working for me, I went to Vegas. I was invited to a party—I don’t even remember who threw it or what casino we went to. Anyway, there was a lot of drinking, as you can probably imagine-” If her wry look was any hint, she could. “-and I finished the night following some girl to a random hotel, which I’m sure you can imagine as well.”

 

Tony could see clear as day Pepper’s efforts to remain calm. “Mr. Stark, why are you telling me this?”

 

In response, he raised a hand appealingly, wordlessly asking for her patience. “I have a point, I promise,” he assured her. “And I need to finish this before I chicken out. No one knows about this and it’s not exactly a night I like to reminisce about.”

 

Something in what he’d said must have convinced her, because Pepper nodded. “Alright then. Random girl, random hotel—what happened?”

 

“Question is: what happened the night after?” Tony retorted, forcing a fake grin on his face he had no doubt she could see right through. “I slept through the whole day, woke up before the girl, paid for the room and left. Obviously, since I don’t know Vegas, I ended up in a pretty crappy part of town, trying to open that stupid bottle of pills and waiting for Happy to come pick me up. . .”

 

Years he hadn’t thought about that moment and his heart beat just as fast as when he’d heard the words circling his wrist.

 

In hindsight, considering the hangover he was nursing at the time, the alcohol levels still high in his system, it was surprising he remembered anything at all. And yet the details were just as clear in his mind, years later, as they’d been when he was on the plane taking him from Vegas and back to Malibu, an hour after he met _her_.

 

Taking a deep (and slightly shaky, but he’d pretend like he hadn’t noticed that) breath, Tony looked Pepper right in the eye. “I met my soulmate that night,” he finally blurted out, tone more subdued than he would have liked.

 

The effect of his little announcement was instantaneous. Pepper’s eyes widened and her mouth dropped open, in a clear expression of astonishment he’d never seen on her before. It took her a few seconds, during which she visibly floundered, before she found the right words.

 

“You did?” she finally uttered, voice a little bit higher than normal. All Tony could do was nod. “But- You’ve never introduced her- Is she still in Vegas? Did she reject you? And why would she- Oh my God, I can’t believe this. And you’ve never told anyone?”

 

Tony couldn’t help but smile a little, charmed by the uncharacteristic slip in her composure, before he shook his head in resignation. He’d definitely shocked her in the past, he knew it for a fact, but that particular story would no doubt change her vision of him drastically—after all, soulmates were a sacred thing in their modern and supposedly open-minded society still.

 

“She didn’t reject me,” he admitted quietly. “ _I_ told _her_ I didn’t want her.”

 

The silence that fell on his shop then was the most deafening and nerve-wrecking he’d ever heard. He couldn’t bring himself to look the woman in front of him in the eye, couldn’t bear to see the condemnation on her face. Hell, he didn’t even remember why he’d thought telling her this was such a good idea in the first place-

 

“Tony, will you tell me what happened?”

 

He barely repressed his flinch when she finally spoke up.

 

Her tone was much too gentle, much too compassionate. And when he looked up to her, that was all he found on her features, too—not a single trace of judgement, or repulsion. No matter how he tried to explain it, he didn’t understand why she wasn’t tearing him a new one already.

 

“What, that’s it?” he asked disbelievingly.

 

A shapely eyebrow was raised in challenge. “What do you mean, that’s it?” Pepper asked back.

 

“Well, unless I was transported to a different dimension at some point while I wasn’t paying attention, rejecting your soulmate is still frowned upon, right? I mean, I was just sitting there, and suddenly this girl asked me if I needed help opening that stupid pill bottle, and that was her.” The words were pouring out of his mouth and he couldn’t stop them. Years of never uttering a word about the subject, and now it was all pouring out like word-vomit. “And she was cute and all, and really nice—I mean, she had to be either the sweetest kid or completely oblivious to stop and help a random stranger, at night, in the streets.”

 

“So. . .she saw you sitting there, and she asked if you needed help?” Pepper summarized in an attempt to puzzle through his ramblings.

 

“Yeah, yeah!” Unable to remain seated anymore, Tony jumped to his feet and started pacing. “Even bought me food to help with the hangover. Which is kind of ironic, right? I mean, she was wearing clothes that looked pretty crappy and didn’t even fit her right—born and raised in Vegas, she said. Hundred percent street kid, worried that this rich guy with his fancy shoes was going to get mugged or something.”

 

The look on Pepper’s face was a little confused and ever so slightly perplexed. “Tony, how old is she exactly?”

 

That question brought him to an instantaneous stop. Even after all these years, he couldn’t come up with a single reason why he’d met his soulmate when she was so overwhelmingly _young_ , ages away from turning legal (that one meeting was enough to prove, at least in Tony’s books, that all these romantic notions about Fate being all-knowing and having a Plan, were complete and utter bullshit).

 

Not that her being twenty-four instead of fourteen would have changed a thing. Tony didn’t want a soulmate then and he didn’t want a soulmate now—well, not really. Yinsen had had the perfect thing with his wife and family before they were taken from him, and it had seemed so enviable, hearing about it through the kindhearted man’s eyes. But Tony was nothing like Yinsen, had never really pictured himself like the family or one-woman-forever kind of guy. He still couldn’t. If he had ever had a future with his soulmate, he couldn’t imagine it for a second looking like what Yinsen had so wistfully described while they were both locked in that cave.

 

“Well, I never kept in touch,” Tony shrugged at last and dropped back down on his stool. “Don’t even know her full name actually. But considering my mark is still black, meaning that she’s alive, she should be around twenty now.”

 

There was a second of silence. “Oh. My. God.” The soft expression of astonishment was so appropriate it made Tony smile and snort softly. “She was. . .She was _fifteen_ when you met her?”

 

“Fourteen actually,” the dark-haired man rectified and leaned back on the worktable behind him, propping his elbows and affecting a nonchalant air he knew Pepper wouldn’t buy. “And so tiny! Huge blue eyes too! Really pretty—I knew right away she was gonna be a looker, I can tell those things.”

 

“Fourteen,” Pepper breathed out, and, in a slip of her composure Tony rarely ever saw, she lifted a slightly shaky hand to fiddle with her hair. It didn’t last long: a second later she was shooting him an uncannily sharp and perceptive look. “You panicked, didn’t you?”

 

Right on target as usual (it was scary how well the woman knew him). “What?” Tony exclaimed, exaggerating his indignation deliberately. “Miss Potts, you should know better-”

 

“Mr. Stark, I _do_ know better. I’ve been working with you for five years. I know you enough to guess what happened: you played it cool, while inside you were completely panicking, you most likely said something rude at some point.” And she said it all in that perfectly reasonable tone that Tony couldn’t argue with, with that certainty that spoke of a level of acquaintance with him he couldn’t help but marvel over.

 

“I made a lousy, double-entendre joke,” he admitted with a sigh. “Those were my First Words to her. She has dubious innuendo written on her wrist.”

 

Pepper echoed his sigh with one of her own, but didn’t comment further to Tony’s relief.

 

They both remained silent for several long minutes, Pepper absorbing the news, while Tony came to realization that, even now that he’d actually told someone about his soulmate, the world hadn’t come to an end. He would have been lying if he said he didn’t feel a bit silly at the way he’d been blowing the whole soulmate thing out of proportion for so long.

 

“So you never spoke to her again after meeting her?” Pepper asked after a while.

 

Tony shook his head. “I told her I wasn’t into the whole life-commitment thing, she said she understood. You know, she was a lot more reasonable than any fourteen-year-old had any right to be, I’m telling you—I wasn’t like that at all when _I_ was fourteen. Right, so she said she understood, and that she didn’t want to make anyone miserable, much less me, and that I should do what would make me happy.”

 

“She sounds very mature for her age,” Pepper said softly, the slightest hint of a smile playing on her lips.

 

“She definitely was.”

 

And for the first time in years, Tony truly allowed himself to remember that night—the way she’d seemed so small sitting next to him, how she tugged the too-long sleeves of her hoodie over her hands, how bright and piercing her eyes were even behind her glasses. . .He hadn’t acknowledged it at the time, when he and Yinsen had talked in the cave, the swelling of his heart that almost felt like longing, but there was no way he could ignore it now, not when there were no jailers expecting him to deliver a missile, no immediate threats on his life, and it was only him and Pepper talking.

 

It was confusing, feeling this way and thinking about a girl half his age that he’d only ever talked to for all of ten minutes. It was all the more confusing that he _knew_ he still didn’t want a soulmate, because, supposed perfect half or not, a soulmate was essentially a perfect stranger you were expected to accept unconditionally. His every instinct reared back at that prospect.

 

(Not to mention that _thing_ that had been growing between him and Pepper lately, that he didn’t want to try and put a name on just yet, but that he was beginning to seriously enjoy. Was he supposed to give up something so tangible, so good and so positive for a hypothetical happiness with a girl who could barely be called an adult yet?)

 

“It’s her you’re thinking about, not Afghanistan,” Pepper said, her tone so filled with understanding Tony had to look away. “Are you thinking to try and find her?”

 

Tony groaned. “I don’t know,” he admitted, much more honestly than he’d expected himself to be. “I mean, five years ago, when I met her, sure, she was too young, but I could have handled it better—I never even asked her full name! She just said to call her Darcy, and for all I know, that could be a nickname. But I _know_ now, I was a jerk and I should have handled it better. There’s a reason people are soulmates, right? I should have made sure she was alright, made sure to keep an eye on her or something. . .”

 

“To be fair, it’s the first time I hear directly about such an age-difference,” Pepper tempered. “It must have been difficult to handle.”

 

“You know, I never really cared what they say about me in the tabloids, but for a second there, I really didn’t want anyone to find out my soulmate was a fourteen-year-old kid.”

 

Pepper winced. “They would have turned it any way they needed to paint you under the worst possible light. Everyone knows it happens from time to time, an adult meeting a soulmate who’s a child still, but it’s a subject that’s generally avoided. Not to mention that the tabloids do love their scandal: they would have jumped on the occasion.”

 

“The juicier the better!” Tony agreed heartily. “But she was a normal kid—and by normal I mean she didn’t get her name in the papers before she could walk. I always hated it, and she would have made an even easier target than me.”

 

“Well, you said she’s almost twenty now. She’s old enough to choose for herself, isn’t she?”

 

“Is it really that simple, Miss Potts?” Tony retorted with an unimpressed look. “I left the kid there, on the street, never even asked for her name, didn’t really leave her with much of a choice. Why would she even consider having anything to do with me?” He paused for a second before a thought occurred to him and he frowned. “Other than money, that is. She _did_ look like she needed money—but I’m sure you’ll understand if I tell you I’d like to avoid the kind of person that would only stay with me out of materialistic motivations. After all, we’ve seen how that turns out.”

 

Pepper nodded, wordlessly recognizing his point. “She _is_ your soulmate, though,” she said with a soft smile and no trace of uncertainty in her eyes. “I don’t believe for a second that she could be the kind of person only interested in your money.”

 

“How delightfully positivist of you, Miss Potts! But that still doesn’t negate my first point: I gave her all the reasons to hate me. Even if I managed to find her, I’m pretty sure she’d tell me to hit the road.”

 

“Or maybe she’d let you explain why you left, maybe she’d give you a chance. Soulmates can be very understanding—I hear that’s the whole point of soulmates actually, being understanding when your destined half needs you to be.”

 

Tony’s eyebrows rose to flirt with his hairline as a very new, very disturbing idea suddenly occurred to him. “You sound like you speak from experience, Miss Potts?” he asked, tone a lot more hesitant than he would have preferred it to be—and an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach that he refused to try and put a name on.

 

“It’s a recent development,” Pepper admitted after a short hesitation. “My mark is very simple and generic, and I’ve already had a few negatives.”

 

“So. . .this time it’s the right one? You’re sure?”

 

She had no obligation to answer (in fact, from a professional point of view, this whole conversation that Tony had started about soulmates was entirely inappropriate) and she was making a visible effort to speak of it. But Tony could tell from the determined look on her face, that after his own confession, Pepper wanted to return his trust in an equal measure.

 

If he’d had any doubts left about sharing his secret with her, they were effectively wiped away by the consideration she was showing him at that moment.

 

“We’ve both made sure,” she finally confirmed with a curiously uncertain look on her face. “His mark is even simpler than mine, which didn’t help things much. We realized we were soulmates only several days  _after_ we’d met, but the writings and the words match for both of us.”

 

Tony nodded, and swallowed to try and get rid of bitter after-taste suddenly in his mouth. “I suppose congratulations are in order, then,” he said with a smile that must not have been very convincing.

 

“I don’t think so,” Pepper shook her head. “We’re not going to pursue anything.” And at Tony’s surprised look, she shrugged a little and looked down at her hands, loosely linked on her lap. “He’s government and he’s fully committed to his job. I can respect his sense of duty—I’d even say I admire it—but it means he has very little time to devote to any sort of meaningful relationship. And it’s not like I’d give up _my_ job just to follow him around the globe. . .”

 

“So what?” Tony snapped, frowning heavily. “He just told you no?” It was nothing short of hypocritical of him to get angry on Pepper’s behalf because her soulmate had prioritized his work over her. But how could he not when she was the most amazing woman he knew? Had Pepper been _Tony_ ’s soulmate- but that wasn’t a train of thought he should expand on. “Well, he sounds like a complete idiot. Would you like me to track him down? Give him a good talking to? While I'm wearing the suit? Or a recommendation? Let him know what he’s missing out on?”

 

“There’s no need, Mr. Stark.” Only the smile that teased at the corners of her lips convinced him that she meant it. “We’ve talked together at length and. . .we’ve come to the conclusion that we’re both in no place to be what the other could want or need at this point of our respective lives. He’s very supportive of my professional aspirations and he doesn’t want me to sacrifice anything when he’s unable to make any sort of definitive commitment.”

 

“Well, that sounds absurdly self-sacrificing.”

 

“Maybe, but he has a lot of responsibilities. He’s a very important man and he can’t- won't walk away or cut down his workload.” She paused for a second, as if reminiscing. “He told me he wished he could, though. So maybe later, when we’ve both accomplished what we set out to do. . .”

 

Tony couldn’t have held back his wry smile even if he’d wanted to. “How romantic!” he drawled, grabbing a discarded screwdriver from his worktable and distractedly twirling it between his fingers. “Giving each other enough time to become accomplished professionals until the day you decide to have the whirlind romance of the century.”

 

“It’s not about romance,” Pepper replied with a shake of her head. “We might never want each other that way. We’ve just met. We’ve only spoken a few times so far. Maybe we’re not suited as a couple so much as we’re destined to be allies—but that’s something we’ve both agreed to figure out later. In the meantime, we’ll stay in touch, get to know each other whenever we have the chance and see how things go from there.”

 

It was humbling for Tony to listen to the redhead exposing so calmly the understanding she’d come to with her other half.

 

Although modern western society bragged about its open-mindedness and its acceptance of differences, the reality was far from the ideals depicted in movies and books. Soulmates were still held as sacred, and implicitly recognized to be the best life partners you could ever find. Soulmate pairs (or rarer still, triads) who decided not to pursue a romantic connection were tolerated and perfectly legal, but regarded by a large majority as eccentric at best, abnormal or insane at worst.

 

But that was just another proof of how truly exceptional Pepper Potts was— _and her soulmate was going to let her go_?!

 

“That’s what I meant by a soulmate being understanding,” Pepper went on after a while, when Tony made no further comment. “My soulmate accepts me as I am, and I do the same for him. It might be unconventional, but I’d say you’re far from conventional yourself, Mr. Stark. And I don’t see why your soulmate would be any different.”

 

And it _did_ sound perfectly reasonable. “She’s still young, though.”

 

“Legally, she’s old enough to vote, get married and do a number of other things. If I were her, I think I’d like to have a chance to talk to you again. I mean, she was very young, most likely didn’t expect to meet you before years. She must have been so overwhelmed.”

 

Tony winced a little as the memory of blue eyes, filling up with tears as he climbed inside his car, came back to mind. He’d arbitrarily decided that day for the both of them, taking it at face value when she’d told him she understood his decision. But now that he was actually questioning back that time of his life, Tony couldn’t help but think that her careless attitude and witty little jabs had been more of a front than truly sincere. He should have know her careful intellectual understanding of his own opinion didn't mean that she  _accepted_ it.

 

He let out a long sigh.

 

“I don’t even know where to start,” he admitted. “She could be anywhere, literally anywhere. She might not want anything to do with me.” He let the screwdriver in his hand drop on the table with a loud clatter to rake his fingers through his hair. “Hell, I don’t even know what I’d tell her if I saw her again.”

 

“Does it matter?” Pepper asked gently. “Is it all that important, what exact words you’ll say when you meet again? You’ll both have things to say when you see each other, questions to ask, answers to give. You can figure it all out then.”

 

Tony snorted. “Sure.”

 

He only needed to figure out what it was that he wanted before then. Did he want to go on like he always had, dividing his life between work, parties and one-night-stands? Or did he want more? Was that longing, that he’d felt when he spoke with Yinsen, just a phase or was it there to stay? (Was it the infamous midlife crisis? Was he considering settling?)

 

Not that he could answer any of these questions, when there was one essential variable missing: he didn’t know a thing about his soulmate. Of course, she’d seemed like a smart, sweet girl, but ten minutes were hardly enough time to get know someone. Not to mention that five years were a long time, and people changed over that period, particularly teenagers—there was no telling what she was like now.

 

And just when his thoughts were taking a turn for the definitely darker side of things, a hand suddenly came to rest upon his. It was light, small and delicate, and most definitely Pepper’s.

 

“Why don’t we start with a P.I.?” she offered. “There are specialists for tracking down soulmates. I can contact some of my acquaintances, see who they recommend, and we can go from there. In the meantime, you can concentrate on your work, on your. . .” she shot a brief look to the Iron Man suit in all its charred glory, “your personal projects, and let the P.I. worry about the search.”

 

That actually sounded very nice. And a lot less stressful than whatever half-assed plans Tony had concocted while he was still in the cave, wondering whether or not he should even try to look for his soulmate. “I like the way you think, Miss Potts,” he said approvingly, giving her a wide grin.

 

“I believe that might be why you’ve kept me as your PA for so long.”

 

Tony barely resisted the urge to make a poorly-veiled allusion to her other _assets_. He didn’t feel much remorse when it came to objectifying random women who threw themselves at him at parties, but Pepper was an entirely different thing—pretty much sacred on that aspect. All the more after the events from a few months prior.

 

“Tell you what,” he said instead, and allowed himself to squeeze back her hand for an all-too-brief instant before he rose to his feet and let go. “I’ll take that bet, and I’ll even raise you. I’ll get JARVIS on the initial search while you find the best P.I. there is in the country. JARVIS will try to find any traces of girls named Darcy in Vegas at the time so the P.I. has some place to start when we hire him. Or her. I'm an equal-opportunities employer.”

 

“Very well, sir,” the artificial voice immediately rang throughout the workshop. “Are there any other parameters you would like to add to make the search more efficient?”

 

Tony thought about it for a second. “Sure,” he finally decided. “Start with all middle-school records in Vegas in. . .2002, that should do it. Flag anything you find mentioning a girl named Darcy and send it to me.”

 

“Right away, sir.”

 

Tony only took a minute to check on a computer screen as JARVIS started accessing the public records available (if there wasn’t anything in there, Tony would manually hack into the schools’ private files and student registries, without telling Pepper about it obviously). When he turned back to Pepper, he felt his heart stutter at the small smile and quietly proud look on the redhead’s face, and it took considerable efforts not to falter in his footsteps as he made his way back to her.

 

“What do you say?” he asked her nonchalantly. “Needle in a haystack?”

 

“If anyone is capable of finding that needle, Mr. Stark, I’m sure it’s JARVIS,” she replied, smoothly ignoring his attempt at fishing for compliments.

 

“Thank you, Miss Potts,” JARVIS piped up, which made her smile wider.

 

“Definitely turning my AI against me,” Tony huffed, feigning offense, and walked towards the exit of his workshop. He didn’t look back—the soft click of designer heels was all he needed to know that Pepper was following. Reliable as always. “You said something about takeout, Miss Potts?”

 

“Italian, from Rosco’s.”

 

“Great! Everybody knows Italian food is even better on the second day! Let’s head for the kitchen, then, Miss Potts. We’re gonna have dinner.”

 

“I believe it is in fact a little before lunch time, sir.”

 

In a matter of minutes, the workshop was all closed and locked up, with JARVIS ensuring the place was properly secured, while Tony followed Pepper up the stairs. He was already in a much better mood.

 

Pepper’s visit, and the long talk that they’d had, had settled Tony’s thoughts like he hadn’t been able to do it by himself in months. After a three-course meal from the best Italian restaurant in the state, a couple of glasses of Laphroaig and a very long shower, Tony, feeling in a splendid mood, gave Pepper the rest of her week-end off.

 

Feeling almost at peace with himself and, for once, rather optimistic about the immediate future, he went to bed and slept for twelve hours straight.

 

It would be several months later that, as it turned out, Pepper and Tony would both realize that the proverbial haystack was not only too big for the best P.I. in the country, but also for the world’s most advanced AI.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Because I'm hopeless. Can you tell I'm hopeless? Can you tell how much I think Tony and Pepper are perfect together? Can you tell how much I worship Pepper Potts?
> 
> For all those who are interested: I'm not changing cannon. Tony and Pepper will be together just like in the movies, even though they both have soulmates. In my humble opinion, it only makes them that much more awesome as a power-couple in the soulmate verse: they're together because they chose to be. It doesn't matter that it's expected of everybody to settle with your destined soulmate, they smash social conventions like that because they're awesome.
> 
> And I wonder if any of you have any guesses about who Pepper's mysterious soulmate is? (Well, I did speak of it previously, so I guess it's not much of a mystery...)
> 
> Thank you very much for reading! I'll be looking forward to hearing your feedback!


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